Kourtney Kardashian in A Bikini

Kourtney Kardashian put all her eggs in the basket of a snowboarding alcoholic who she completely failed to recognize had no male friends. She could’ve looked right to Bruce Jenner who also had no male friends, a complication of incessantly polling your buddies, ‘Okay, obviously this is never going to happen, but let’s just say I was a woman instead of a man, would you pound my ass and call me Caitlin?’.

Kardashian took to the web to bare a picture of her big tits and something horribly wrong with her navel while riding a tricycle. A little signal to the eligible bachelors that she’s playful and kooky, and a nod to wealthy Middle Eastern businessmen that she can play young. You get versatile when you’ve got mouths to feed. Eventually all the super dumb people will be dead and she’ll need a new bag. Toxic shock syndrom litigant has already been taken. It’s trophy wife or human bowling pin. I assume you’d like to keep your fake teeth.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Instagram