Lion Assassin Returns to Dental Practice

The dentist who lured, shot, skinned, and beheaded Cecil the Lion is returning to his practice after an extended vacation hiding beneath a coffee table at an undisclosed Minneapolis motel. Hunting famous lions doesn’t pay for itself.

I have a lot of staff members, and I’m a little heartbroken at the disruption in their lives. And I’m a health professional. I need to get back to my staff and my patients, and they want me back. That’s why I’m back.

Selflessness has a new name. Walter Palmer, DDS. Palmer claims had he known Cecil was a famous lion who stood as a symbol of wildlife conservation and whose death would cause a massive backlash around the world, he never would’ve paid $50,000 to bleed him to death with a poorly shot arrow. Hindsight is a motherfucker. Like when Palmer killed a black bear in Wisconsin and got busted and promised to never kill furry cute zoo animals again. That kind of hindsight. What do you mean open wide? Of course I trust you with my teeth. Is that a compound bow?