ADVERTISEMENT
October 16, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments
There’s about an eighty percent chance your high school wrestling coach is rubbing one out with your worn singlet. There’s only a one in a million chance that same towel biting biting pederast goes on to become the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. You’ve got to feel pretty special if your teen balls got an unrequested Ben Gay massage from Dennis Hastert in the 70’s.
Dennis Hastert is pleading guilty to charges he inappropriately shuffled around millions in cash used to pay off blackmailers who saw what he did last summer in the boys showers. The sister of a now deceased former Hastert wrestling student says she feels closure in this case even though Hastert will not plead to anything related to putting her underaged brother or other boys in naked full nelsons during high school. This story will probably only fuel the factually correct stereotype that elected officials are all petty criminals who fondled and failed their way into politics. Congressmen and kids sports coaches, consider yourself warned. If it takes forty years we will track you down and slap you with a minor fine and probation. Back to fixing the economy. But first, cocktails!
Photo credit: NBC News