DeSean Jackson Invaded

DeSean Jackson is completely flummoxed as to why four armed intruders picked his L.A. home for invasion. Also flummoxed as to how the marauders knew the precise location of his security cameras, flummoxed by there being six people in his home at the time who fought off the home invaders, and most flummoxed of all to learn his home was in Tarzana, the whitest neighborhood in the United States. That’s a shit ton of flummoxed.

Jackson maintains that the home invasion isn’t gang related as he’s not gang related and those gang like signs he’s caught flashing during games are shout outs to his cub scout pack #79. The righteous foothill hikes they went on are still sung about in Webelos legend. It’s the same bad luck Chris Brown keeps having with his random home invasions robberies by guys who seem to intuit his security codes. Gang brothers are for life. But consider freezing your membership after you buy your second mansion and third Ferrari. The rest of us are living in a South Central walk up one bedroom with a broken toilet eating past due Cap’n Crunch. We’re only human. We like nice candlesticks too.

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