God Sends Bear to Eat Shrill Woman’s Kayak (VIDEO)

Natures likes to punish college educated white women who belong to the Sierra Club but can’t start a campfire. There’s Lyme disease, but that’s still a work in progress and only afflicts famous people. In a fresh experiment, God sent an Alaskan black bear to torment a shrill kayaker armed only with pepper spray and her Discovery Channel level knowledge of the outdoors. The woman with a vocal range that could neuter a house pet covered the bear in cayenne mist for daring to be in his own house then chided him not to break her kayak as if she were his super annoying girlfriend begging him not to go to his buddy’s bachelor party in Vegas. You can test yourself by watching this until the end. It will remind you to be dutiful to a higher power of your choice. Also, to hope the bear consumes her alive in part two.