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October 26, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments
Deciphering a Kardashian public relations event takes several layers of investigation, followed by an antibiotic cycle and a six molar bleach bath. According to their press release, Kim Kardashian flew in every single “fan” she follows on social media to her birthday luncheon. She has sixty million followers. She follows about ten of them which kept her bill at the Four Seasons semi-reasonable. The fans came from all around the world with the only similarity being their disassociation with any real emotional connection in their lives.
Several of the ladies interviewed referred to Kim Kardashian as their best friend or explained how deeply they related with her, mutually, naturally. That’s something you learn on the first day of stalker school. The chick who changed her name to Amanda Kardashian to be one of the sisters summed up the psychosis with her heart emojis and her undying gratitude. Which came in handy as each of the ten blue placard brained women were assigned somebody to assassinate who’s been bugging Kim. Like Manchurian Candidates, but with body issues. For her part, Kim wore a prophylactic that covered her entire body, which is more protection than she uses when fucking the city garage guy so she gets free parking at the airport.
The afternoon affair ended and everybody agreed it was the best day of their life and they should all do it again next year. Except for Kim who was paying the bill so it’s never going to happen ever again.
Photo credit: Twitter