Angelina Jolie Even More Depressing Movies

Every time Angelina Jolie lops off another reproductive organ she celebrates by writing directing and producing a grossly disheartening foreign film. Is she legally not allowed to make depressing art house movies in the U.S.? I couldn’t read all the Sony emails. Jolie’s captured the horrors of the Bosnian war and that crappy Japanese tranny run prison torture camp. Found footage of her and Brad Pitt being emotionally callous in wigs in the South of France is set to bomb this weekend. She’s currently directing another film from her own script about a Cambodian human rights activist during the Killing Fields holocaust of the 70’s, before moving on to an animated feature about an Afghani girl who has to pretend to be a boy to keep her family from eating Grandpa.

Come up for a smile, Angelina. Your international cuddle of purchased children love you unconditionally. The Hollywood Foreign Press have a waiting list to suck on your future gender balancing power penis. We just want you to be happy again. Maybe get into some YouTube prank videos or something where nine of the eleven people who see your films don’t intentionally get their bare toes bloodied in the escalator sprockets just to feel something after your movie. What the fuck happened to you? I suppose you were always miserable deep down, but you faked a perfect smile to match your tits. We were happy. When did we stop mattering?

Photo Credit: Peter Lindbergh