Today We Are All Madonna (VIDEO)

ISIS finds itself this Monday morning with serious repercussions from its Paris terror attacks. The French rented an airplane they used to bomb a Syrian Sambo’s, millions of people have emotionally invested in their new French flag Facebook profile pictures, and Madonna’s rambling tear-filled Stockholm concert speech that may just spark a tidal wave of peace.

Madonna gave the twenty second shoutout to Paris that went on for another eight minutes to a packed house of Swedes who cheered because their English is just bad enough to make everything anyone says on a stadium mic sound slightly profound. Also, vodka. Madonna called for peace through unity and understanding. After adjusting her fifty-seven year old tits in her corset and truss, she added human dignity. How good was Madonna’s speech? President Obama basically ripped it word for word as his own strategic foreign policy on ISIS just a day later. By the time Madonna transitioned from geo-politics into Like a Prayer, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. If we don’t see a complete surrender by the extremists of unnamed religion by Wednesday, let’s just say, you’re looking at another Madonna ad hoc. You’re not scheduled to blow yourself up until February. You’ll never make it.