Bethenny Frankel in A Bikini

Bethenny Frankel is proof that clean living and exercise can keep you desirable to the opposite sex well into your middle years. Asterisk that with a healthy dose of starvation and elective plastic surgery so extensive that if you removed all the sutures and placed them end to end, her face would fall off. I’d watch that on TLC.

Frankel’s cutting strategy makes sense even in its obscenity. You’ll look like a rancid asparagus tip when you’re eighty, but nobody fucks you when you’re eighty regardless. Live for the now. Your third husband could be just around that corner. Bid high on that Caitlyn Jenner dissected penis skin when it comes up on eBay. You’re going to want that for grafts prior to the Clinton inaugural.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet