Steve Harvey’s big bald head is the universal signal that family safe comedy is coming your way. Harvey fucked up the big moment of the Miss Universe pageant when he declared Miss Colombia the winner and Miss Philippines the runner-up, the opposite of the actual results on the card. Paramilitary juntas in Colombia fired their AK’s into the air for naught as producers tipped off Harvey who had to apologize and re-announce the chick from the Philippines the real winner.
The winner cries and waves and the runner up delivers the false sentiment hug, now all needing a hurried switcheroo hoping nobody notices you soiling your Spanx on live TV. The difference in payouts is huge. Miss Universe gets a whirlwind tour of Middle Eastern outlet shopping centers and six months as beard to a Jonas brother. The runner-up gets six tabs of HSV1 suppressant and a Whitman’s Sampler. After the fracas, the two contestants hugged and agreed how silly it was since they were both just Dominican nursing students at Central Florida. Trump!
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