Lia Marie Johnson Has Potential

In the future everybody sort of pretty with big tits will be famous for about five years. I wish Andy Warhol could’ve lived to see the social media age. Though it would’ve invariably led to him posting lots of dick pics. We used to be able to name people who were super famous for no good reason on one hand. Now it’s mostly everybody. The obvious upside is more tits to stare at free of charge. This chick has millions of followers because she’s bubbly and posts pictures of coquettish simpleton platitudes she invents in her bedroom. That gets you paid. Beats working the corn dog counter at the mall food court. Social media as an occupation is like an NBA filled with very average sized dudes who can nail a fifteen foot set shot. That’s not the NBA. That’s my gym league. I just knocked down ten points against a forty-something dentist. Where’s my max contract? Oh, yeah, no tits. Sexism!

Photo Credit: Vitaly Kibenko