Mark Cuban Is Pretty Shitty With the Advice

Mark Cuban has free advice for the Powerball winners that you could probably just as easily get on the back of a fortune cookie along with the numbers that won you the millions in the first place:

Don’t take the lump sum. You’re probably an addict of some kind so you’ll just blow through it and be broke again in two years.

Money can’t buy you happiness. Something said by people who aren’t eating free ketchup packs from fast food restaurants for meals.

The money will make you happier because you’ll never have to worry about bills again. So, a complete contradiction of the previous point, but more honest.

Tell your friends and relative not to ask you for shit. Solid advice. Buy your dad a Caddy, buy your mom a nice new small house. NBA first guaranteed contract rules apply. Uncles and cousins get shit.

Don’t assume that winning the lottery makes you a savvy investor. There aren’t many business opportunities out there for your sweet skill of filling out numbered bubbles that represent your phone number.

This all seems like fantastic advice that absolutely nobody who won is going to follow. Your most common regular lottery player is one giant dumbass failure. The average $100,000 wage earner in this country spends $100 or less on the lottery every year. The average person below the poverty line spends $500. Noodle that and then consider handing today’s Powerball winners a broom at your store three years from now. It’s not about being charitable, it’s about laughing to yourself and feeling superior.

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