Fresh off her felony arrest for drunk and disorderly and ecstasy possession in the Austin airport, Blac Chyna hit the laser tattoo removal center to etch out the rapper Future’s name in bold face font on her hand she got when she mistakenly thought they were dating. There’s a ‘your brain on drugs’ commercial that might actually have worked. Teens don’t fear death. Waking up with a Future tattoo in perma-Helvetica on your masturbation hand will make you re-think your party favors.
Chyna rested up then hit an L.A. strip club to drop off her reel and because her MDMA stash needed replenishing. Rob Kardashian now chauffeurs Chyna around town in his Bentley in exchange for Blac Chyna promoting his new snapchat account and giving him sympathy sex gonorrhea. If he mentions his designer sock collection she’s allowed to shit in his mouth. That’s one of those Craigslist barters that seem far too complicated to every work out. But these kids are making it happen.
The lifespan of a Kardashian family male is about 35. You have to make every day count. When they tuck you into the convalescent center next to Lammy, you’re going to need wonderful stories to spell out via the electric pen in your mouth. God still turns people into pillars of salt, just really slowly.
Photo credit: Instagram (above), FameFlynet/AKM-GSI (below)