Cole Hamels Denied Titty Access

Major League Baseball pitcher Cole Hamels is suing an events company for being denied access to the 2015 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Hamels claims he paid over $68,000 to Cornucopia Events for three VIP tickets to the show. Should’ve gone to StubHub. When Hamels arrived at the show, he, his wife, and another friend were not allowed inside. No explanation as to why he brought his wife to a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. If she insists on coming, just save yourself the sixty-eight grand. It’s not going to be as fun as you had hoped.

“The lawsuit said that someone from the company told Hamels not to bring any ‘receipts, invoices, e-mails, signed terms and conditions, or any other forms of purchase documents’ to the show as proof. The company also told Hamels to not tell security or personnel that he bought the tickets, and to instead say ‘they were a gift,’ or ‘we are guests of the brand.'”

If that’s the fine print and you’re not suspicious, you deserve to lose your money. Also, the widow in Nigeria says thank you again for handling her inheritance overseas. In 2012, Hamels signed a $144 million contract. Chalk your affordable loss up to being giddy over models in lingerie and a humble-brag story to tell at cocktail parties. You got swindled. It happens. Don’t invest in any restaurants or rap albums. You’ll be fine.

Photo credit: Victoria’s Secret / Instagram