Adam LaRoche Seems Like an Enthusiastic Dad

Adam LaRoche of the White Sox is quitting with one year and some serious cash left on his contract because the ball club will no longer allow his son Drake to hang out full-time with the team. Also maybe because he was being booed by fans last year for declining super rapidly and whiffing on his contract. LaRoche’s own dad was a ballplayer and he grew up hanging out with his dad at games and he thought why not carry on the tradition of removing your son from home and school to smell jocks and watch fat dudes spit seeds and talk about the chicks they fucked last night. It’s in Spanish so it’s copacetic.

“We’re not big on school. I told my wife, ‘He’s going to learn a lot more useful information in the clubhouse than he will in the classroom, as far as life lessons.”

Drake is allowed to take breaks from swinging his feet in the clubhouse to play on Little League teams in both Chicago and Kansas City. He also takes part in his dad’s offseason gun and hunting shows on The Outdoor Channel. The lessons you learn playing ball and bow hunting grizzlies are invaluable. Reading, writing, and arithmetics are for city folk. LaRoche says he’s quitting now that his son won’t be accommodated by the team without any nod to the fact that not a single other person in this entire country gets to have his middle schooler living with him at work. It’s not practical. It’s also probably illegal. Chalk this one up to the bias against dads. Particularly those with a slash line of .203/.297/.340.

Photo credit: Instagram/ridgereaper33