Adele twerked on stage. E! News wrote an article about it that reads like Seventeen Magazine fucked a YouTube personality. Adela tries to make it cute, but the only cute things over three-hundred pounds are baby elephants and Chris Farley, previously. Adele bounced on stage like a Teletubby but just fat where the TV screen goes:
“I think I just twerked! I can’t do it that well. My whole body has to move. Watch. My bum could break my back it’s so enormous.”
As if she didn’t practice that in front of the mirror until it shattered in a fit of combustible self-loathing. If you had to make a list of the top five people, dead or alive, who you’d least want to see twerk, Adele would be on it, right in between Hillary Clinton and General Burkhalter. It’s hard to stay in your lane when you’re driving a semi. Hot girls dance because they can’t sing.