Lena Dunham Lives

Lena Dunham announced that she’s going to make a full recovery following ovarian cyst surgery. Reaction was mixed. Doctors went through her abdomen because there weren’t straws short enough to draw for vaginal insertion duty. Every fifth Facebook Like to Dunham’s surgery diary wins a laminated length of her ulcerated fallopian tube. You can’t win if you don’t enter.

Dunham recovered just in time for her pro-Clinton fundraiser in Los Angeles featuring Chelsea Clinton and America Ferraro who is famous for being the nineteenth person in Hollywood to decry Donald Trump for denigrating Hispanic Americans shortly after he didn’t actually do that. Imagine that gathering of troll hens. Fuck, Marry, Kill. Clinton’s got Secret Service and her parents are worth $100 million thanks to government jobs. I’d marry her. I’m not fucking Lena Dunham so it’s go time, Ugly Better. Dunham, I’m giving you a ten minute head start. Yes, I can still see you. You’ve made it half a block. Holy Christ, are you puking?

Photo credit: HBO/Girls