Dunham Stumps for Hillary

Lena Dunham has committed to consuming nothing but partially hydrogenated oils and barn owl hatchlings until Hillary Clinton is sworn in as the first female President. Lena and her cult like following of Upper West Side feminists and the HBO executives scared shitless of them have been stumping for Hillary double time to see she defeats Bernie Sanders in New York. Ergo, invent conveniently exclusive underdog scenario. 

Every day Hillary is campaigning against a set of odds that none of the other candidates can even imagine… The other candidates are white men and they cannot understand, even if they can understand it intellectually…for what it’s like to be under that kind of attack, and I’m so impressed by the way she continues to soldier forth.

Being the insider candidate with a hundred million in the war chest and party hacks jiggering delegates to seal your victory sounds just like Rudy. We all know the broke commie is the underdog. The press has yet to find a man under forty voting for Hillary Clinton. The feminism buy-in is somewhere between realizing a woman can open her own car door and allowing her to crush your balls repeatedly in the door jam just because she can. Having a vagina and managing to stay out of jail are not actual qualifications for executive leadership. Just like not being insightful or funny are not actual qualifications to have a TV show. Sometimes the world rewards failure. Female diseases and husbands who fuck everybody but you even out the balance sheet.

Photo credit: Lena Dunham / Instagram