The Power Rangers are back after absolutely nobody asked. Big dollar Hollywood hates to invest in new ideas because old ideas make far more money. Don’t hate the players, hate the Jews. Every big budget movie must appeal to fourteen year old boys who won’t get laid until twenty and foreign markets where those same teens won’t get laid until they blow up a Noah’s Bagels and get their virgins in heaven. In the new film version of Power Rangers adapted from the insipid TV show, Rita Repulsa will be less repulsive and instead portrayed by Elizabeth Banks in a skin tight body suit. Banks was perfect for the role since she’s forty-two and still needs to eat, though not for the six weeks leading up to costume fitting and filming. None of this is inspiring, unless you’re an investor looking at Transformers and TMNT film returns. If you want to witness cinema for the sake of art, Google lesbian student filmmaker touching short about Alzheimer’s grandmother. There are ten of those films for every 80’s and 90’s afternoon TV show turned tentpole summer release. If you’re looking for something in between, you’ll have to bum your friend’s HBO GO login.
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