Grandpa’s Tits Confusing Mason Disick

Kourtney Kardashian’s eldest bastard child is apparently undereducated on the matter of Bruce turning into Caitlyn. There is no precise Guatemalan term for narcissistic repressed homosexual asshole so his nannies were at a standstill after being ordered to explain to Mason Disick why grandpa now had tits. On the promo for her already-canceled new show, Khloe Kardashian describes Mason’s reaction to pop-pop’s new bag, “He was like, ‘What are you doing, Grandpa?'” My sentiments exactly.

The kid’s reaction was the unadulterated human view on Caitlyn Jenner. Before fear of social and political sanctions. What the fuck did you just do? People need a second to adjust without being called bigots. Just because a frightened corporate media labeled you a hero for becoming a she doesn’t mean we all measure bravery by the same definition. Do some people born with penises feel like women inside? Sure. I’m game. But who gives a shit? Freedom of expression has to run in both directions. Only Axe Body Spray induced global warming and the unparalleled genius of Lena Dunham are beyond debate. Dudes can now finish on your big fake tits. We get to make snide comments. It’s called symbioses. We need each other. I’m not giving you back your hormones until you agree. Prison house rules, bitch.

Photo credit: Caitlyn Jenner / Instagram