Leonardo DiCaprio Saves the Planet, Fucks a Few Chicks, Takes a Nap

Nobody’s garnered as much pussy from environmental concerns as Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s a tail machine. Whatever he’s doing at any given moment, the gears are turning about how it will translate into attractive 22-year old girl pussy. Watch for the boner in the bear scene in Revenant. He knew that was going to get him laid by the finest women in Europe ten times over. Over the weekend DiCaprio gave a speech before the U.N. urging them to adopt the Paris Environmental accords that will force India and China to lie better about their greenhouse gasses. Also, rich people must adopt a polar bear. People in sub-Saharan Africa can still shit in the river. It’s not perfect. DiCaprio capped off his evening by hitting up the Up and Down Club in Manhattan, leaving wasted with girls telephone numbers written all over his hand. He was carried away like a child by bodyguards who put him into the back of car pre-packed with young women. Did you hear about how I saved the planet today? No, I’m not a superhero. Superheroes don’t make girls pleasure each other while they fuck them by the threes. We have to wait for my condom guy. Kids are environmental time bombs. Yes, ass would work.

Photo credit: FameFlynet