Lindsay Lohan may be engaged to a wealthy kid from Russia where Mean Girls is still the number one movie on Pirate Bay. Lohan’s parents canceled snorting and drinking and beating the crap out of each other for one evening of detente to express their mutual affection for 22-year old Egor Tarabasov who they’ve never met in person. That can’t be an unintentional oversight.
Michael Lohan: He has a lot of strong connections in Russia — these are big people and they’re very supportive.
Dina Lohan: He’s cool and he’s very mature for his age. He’s older than his years. Being an only child and traveling the world educates you in other ways.
They could’ve saved some words by holding up the kid’s inheritance figure and giggling. He will never call you mum and dad as you constantly request, but for the two years he’s going to plow your daughter, you’ll have cushy fake jobs in his real estate business. Look at those happy fuckers. When does Carrie smite them with the live electrical wire?
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