Rihanna Nipples Hard for Sneaker Dollars

Rihanna celebrated the release of her third round of marked up sneakers by walking around Manhattan showing off her panties and nipples. They’re Pumas with thick rubber soles called “creepers” because that sounds better than “we ripped off Vans and nobody gives a shit”. Her first two rounds sold out in hours. Must have those $120 four dollar sneakers. Today’s price will be raised to $150, in no way related to Tinka, the Bangladeshi second grader who cobbles the shoes by candlelight in her hut made of dried poo.

I’d ask for a thousand. Why the fuck not. A fool and his money are soon parted. That goes double for girls other people’s credit cards. There are two kinds of people really into sneaker pimping. Rich bald dudes who just like buying shit that makes them look cool and can easily afford to waste money. And people prepping for a life of hoping food stamps get ever increasingly politically correct names. Like Happy Camper Nutrition Points. Takes ten of those to get smokes. Trade the smokes for more Puma creepers at the Canadian border. Trendy footwear is the new gainfully employed.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}