Scott Disick Minimalist Money Monster

It’s an uncommon man who literally fucks his way into money. Ski bum Scott Disick worked his dick into a Kardashian and came out on the other end with several million in the bank. Opportunistic men used to have to bathe old ladies in the tub for this level uptick in prospects. You could do a pros and cons worksheet to determine if this is progress.

Disick abides off his reality TV residuals and unusually large checks for getting loaded at Vegas clubs. He also earns low five figures per poorly veiled sales endorsements on social media. It’s unclear who would purchase health and fitness products based off the recommendation of a guy regularly rushed to the hospital with liver toxicity, but assume the click-through rates are low among the subset of men living independently from their parents.

Disick copied the posting instructions from some shitty protein powder company and pasted them word for word into the caption field of his sponsored Instagram. It probably made sense at the time. As did calling Dominos in tears at 2am to see if they delivered Stoli fifths. People used to get fired for being drunk and stupid. Until being drunk and stupid became the actual job. Boo Tea Shake. I only just got that. 

_{Photo credit: Scott Disick/Instagram}