Heidi Klum Hosts A Party For Herself

You’re never too old to lick a dripping ice cream cone in the manner of a fellatio big finish. The theme of Heidi Klum’s Macy’s launch party was lingerie and frozen deserts. One of these things was made within ten thousand miles of the store. Only fat sweaty people eat ice cream in their underwear.

Like every other opportunistic model in the world, Heidi Klum launched a signature bra and panties line, because women can’t even select underwear without the need for esteem through social celebrity associations. That forty bucks at Macy’s will definitely merit you an invite to the world’s hottest yacht parties and a young French boyfriend who gets rock hard for stretch marks and mulatto babies. Keep licking ice cream and all you’ll ever get is fat. Think Hanes. 

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}