Louis Smith Repels the Repulsed

For ninety-nine percent of people active on social media, the routine is posting insipid slices of life for nobody to care about and responding to perceived moral breaches with over the top outrage. British Olympic gymnast Louis Smith posted a picture of Carly Patterson’s scrunched up midget gymnast ass from the 2004 Athens Olympics, with the caption, “my sport has it’s moments”. He also added a smiley face emoji which should be a greater cause for alarm than anything implied by the text.

Instagram pearl clutchers attacked him for the vulgar posting and quickly pointed out that Patterson was only sixteen at the time of the photo. Therefore he was also a pedophile and Satan and the reason their boyfriend started sleeping with their less fat former best friend. Louis responded as a gentleman should in the face of the pitchfork hoisting Brave Internet Warrior mob:

“If you don’t like my vulgar, disgraceful, morally bigoted, racial, sexist, feministic, facetious behaviour then just unfollow me or even block me.”

The “change the fucking channel, you lazy whiner” argument has yet to be discredited in six decades of use. Smith pointed out that he would apologize if Carly Patterson herself said she was offended, which she wasn’t, because they’re friends, and she thought the entire brouhaha was hilarious. Instagram naturally removed the photo so that they would have more storage space for ten thousand others girls to publish photos of their asses in thongs. 

You can’t eliminate the self-righteous because the measure of their assuredness is an equal match for their level of pointless indignity. But you can choose not to cower before them. Good on you, Louis Smith. You’re a twenty-seven year old who wears onesies and talcs his hands for a living and you’ve got bigger balls than most. Tuck them safe.

_{Photo credit: (cover) Louis Smith/Instagram (inside) Splash News}