Ronnie Wood Makes Twins

68 year old Ronnie Wood and his 38 year old wife gave birth to twin daughters. In vitro fertilization works more or less like a duck hunting rifle, they load up as much sperm as possible and blast them into you with the precision of a water balloon fight. You never know how many are going to take, but two is a lot better than giving birth to eight like a common house dog.

Wood can afford it obviously so that helps. For many expectant mothers the news of triplets just means they’re going to have to stop buying vegetables. Wood will be nearing eighty by the time he’s teaching the girls to drive and their wedding ceremonies will probably take place in his iron lung. Nonetheless, through the miracles of modern technology these two people who nature has forced to stop reproducing will be doing just that. It will probably wreak unintended consequences on our genome but on the plus side they’re helping adjust for the trailer parks. His boner is older than segregation. Very impressive.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}