Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?

Journalism is dead. There are tiny niches here and there that offer unfettered news and information and opinion without fear of aggrieving a protected class. Like women who want to be equal to men except for the continued right to seek civil and criminal remedy when their sensibilities are offended. Any journalism outlet owned by any sized media corporation is publishing falsetto. Some dude wrote an unnecessarily highbrow and lengthy piece for the L.A. Weekly as to why young pop star Sky Ferreira has nice tits and how that helps her pop music career. It’s not as creepy as it is a waste of thousands of painfully constructed sophisticate metaphors. Ferreira does have nice tits. She bared them on her album cover in case you were uncertain.

Outlets like Jezebel and Teen Vogue which hire bulk rate 20-something spin class Gotham chubbies for an editorial exasperation parade expressed outrage over how the male writer repeatedly conjured up the sexual objectification of the Ferreira whilst discussing her artistic appeal. He was comparing her largely to Madonna who made herself a Nigerian oil scam fortune playing into the owning the whore role. The writer used the words “tits” in his piece to appear shocking. Like that kid you went to school with who everybody but himself knew was gay and overcompensated by exclaiming his love of pussy an awkward number of times. Thanks, Kevin, we got you. Isn’t that your sister’s sweater you’re wearing?

The L.A. Weekly responded to the criticisms as all media outlets do nowadays, with an immediate mea culpa and a list of all the great articles they’ve written about how tampons should be tax free. The newspaper editor insisted that he would keep up the original story as a testament to their abject misogyny. Also, now thanks to Jezebel, the story was scoring major clicks. It’s becoming harder and harder to blame the bullies. Especially when they wear stretch pants and needs hugs on days they’re feeling bloated.