Lady Gaga Back on the Market

Taylor Kinney and Lady Gaga broke off their engagement after Kinney realized how much he looked like Leonardo DiCaprio and noticed how his girlfriend didn’t look like Leo’s did. The couple had been together for five years. That’s a lot of time to spend with a chick constantly trailed by troubled trannies and junior college cutters. You’re naked and covered in cutlets? Why didn’t you say so. My erection can look past that nose. The endless celebrity magazine stories about the perfect romance will be more difficult to process.

There comes a time in your life when those butterflies in your stomach is merely gas. You’re Hollywood tall and handsome and you’re on one or five of those NBC shows that are exactly the same. Network paychecks are a set for life kind of deal. Someday you’ll look back on this moment and realize you made the right decision. Plus or minus five minutes after you stick your dick into a much better looking woman. Just like riding a bike. You were born this way.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}