Anne Hathaway Won’t Stop Inspiring

Inspiring female celebrity newer mom messages can be summed up in three words: I’m fat too. It’s not true, but it flies off the shelves like super-sized peanut M&Ms plucked at the check-out line because you’ve had a hectic day.

Anne Hathaway has been trying to find ways to get her name off the dreaded Hated in Hollywood list for several years now. That’s the list you pretend doesn’t bother you but keeps you up to the wee hours beating your slender gay gimp husband until he cries out in testimony to your likability. Hathaway produced a child from some level of coupling and is using her post-baby body as a means of identifying with the common folk:

There is no shame in gaining weight during pregnancy (or ever). There is no shame if it takes longer than you think it will to lose the weight (if you want to lose it at all). There is no shame in finally breaking down and making your own jean shorts because last summer’s are just too dang short for this summer’s thighs. Bodies change. Bodies grow. Bodies shrink. It’s all love (don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.)

You have to be thankful the leaders of the Greatest Generation were less hesitant in their orders. Take the beach, or don’t. Kill the Japs, if that’s the kind of person you are. Hugs are cool too. Let’s get sushi!

Inspiring used to mean something different than accepting that which you can change. Anne Hathaway isn’t making her own clothing and she’s already lost all the baby weight. She’s power hiking twice daily. Her thighs could squeeze the life out of her emasculated husband if she so wanted (or if she didn’t want to but it happened by accident). Men clickbait onto Amazing Muscle Building Secrets. Everybody’s horribly stupid minus a small few who will live in a bunker and bitch endlessly after the dummy apocalypse. Just a head’s up. Hathaway will probably be there too. She’s got scissors.