Draymond Dick Valued at $100,0000

Vivid has this shtick of firing off letters to people caught in sex scandals and offering them a million dollars to appear in porn. Somebody in the public relations department told them it was a rich idea years ago and they’ve just not quit. After so many such letters you had to notice when they knocked the offer down to a hundred grand for Draymond Green. That’s probably not racist. More likely a realization that Green might be the first person to accept the sensational offer. 

Green’s dick pic has been making the Internet rounds since he accidentally posted his cock to Snapchat like people do. Rolling Stone magazine published a piece in defense of Green’s member. It didn’t make much sense, but at least it was a Rolling Stone story where the subject wasn’t completely invented.

Despite contrarian argument, nobody in the social media age has ever been financially or professionally damaged by the release of sex tapes or naked photos. Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lawrence, Scarlett Johansson, all doing fine at $50 million plus a year. Draymond’s only making eighteen. Try sticking your junk into one of the aforementioned name’s twats and re-posting. You’re just getting the hang of this.

_{Photo credit: TMZSports}