Elizabeth Smart Lacks Credibility

Elizabeth Smart gained a lot of perspective from being held captive and raped repeatedly for nine months, namely that pornography is bad. I could think of a few more prescient lessons. If you’re a parent, don’t hire homeless people to do hard labor around your house at a discounted rate. They’re often insane and will attempt to kidnap your children. Try Angie’s List. Also, should you ever find yourself having been abducted and the abductors leave to hit up Ralph’s, walk or run out the fucking door. This lesson could also apply to people in less dire situations. If something is wrong, leave. Yeah, she was only fourteen. If kids that age can train for the Olympics they can sure as hell bang on the neighbor’s door. How old was Bieber when he got his record deal? 

Smart is now collaborating with an anti-pornography propaganda outfit called Fight The New Drug which seeks to demonize porn as a distraction so dumb Mormons keep giving their tithings. Their website is persuasive if you’re on a fifth grade reading level and easily swayed by bad analogies: 

“Back in the 1950s, two researchers… played a trick on butterflies. After figuring out which marks on female butterfly wings were most eye-catching to their mates, they created their own cardboard butterflies and painted them to look like super-females. Their wing patterns were based on the wings of normal butterflies, but with more exciting marks than would ever be found in nature. And the butterflies fell for it. Even though real female butterflies were around and available, the males kept trying to partner with the cardboard versions. It wasn’t getting them what they wanted—which was the chance to mate—but they had been tricked, so they ignored the real females and kept trying to charm the decoys. Any of this sound familiar?”

Yeah you write those Hallmark cards they throw in the bargain bins at Ross correct? Smart can’t offer any definitive rankings in terms of what sucked about the ordeal, but the porn was definitely bad. That’s all you need to know: 

“I can’t say that he would not have gone out and kidnapped me had he not looked at pornography. All I know is that pornography made my living hell worse.”

Suffice to say if you’re kidnapping fourteen year old girls, Hustler is not your problem. You’re probably really fucked up, independent of the porn. Put another way, at least half of all people who look at porn don’t kidnap and rape fourteen year old girls. This appears to be a non-starter. Do a little more self reflecting. Next time call 911. 

_{Photo Credit: NBC}