Kylie Jenner Birthday Gifts

Kylie Jenner turned nineteen. She colored her hair red, tied it up in cornrows, and let her unemployed black boyfriend sodomize her while chatting up his baby mama to mark the occasion. Kylie more than any other kid in that zoo exhibit is the answer to the question, how do kids turn out with a horrific stage mom and a dad giggling in the closet.

It’s easy to judge rich and shallow women as the lesser angels of capitalism. It’s worth paying some attention to the pathology. This chick never stood a chance. Michael Corleone had the self-awareness to try and get out. The more fucked up the family, the more the ties bind. Nineteen and not making illegitimate babies is a waste. Somebody pull aside the writers and make this happen. Jaw-dropping promos don’t happen by themselves.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram/Snapchat}