Miss Teen USA Checked the Box for Caucasian, Non-Hispanic

Beauty pageants are a throwback to the time we chose leaders by placing a crown on the top of some recessive gene baby crone from a super wealthy family. Not so much has changed. People who have free time to get miffed at tons of shit got super miffed at how white and blond the finalists were at this year’s Miss Teen USA pageant. As opposed to previous years when Hmong girls with Downs were well represented. The top vote getters did all bear a similar Aryan patina, They might’ve got away with it if the new teen pageant queen Karlie Hay didn’t have a shitload of n-bombs on her Twitter feed.

Hay apologized for casually dropping “nigger” a lot in a hip hop meets Hello Kitty way to her other blond friends. It wasn’t venal, but pretty fucking stupid, and girls like Karlie are used to apologizing for that:

Several years ago, I had many personal struggles and found myself in a place that is not representative of who I am as a person. I admit that I have used language publicly in the past which I am not proud of and that there is no excuse for. Through hard work, education and thanks in large part to the sisterhood that I have come to know through pageants, I am proud to say that I am today a better person. I am honored to hold this title and I will use this platform to promote the values of The Miss Universe Organization, and my own, that recognize the confidence, beauty and perseverance of all women.

Seems empty and covered off enough. You don’t run a debutante pageant in 2016 without a few of these mea culpas lined up and ready to go. Sisterhood is a great euphemism for befriending the token black chick they let in every year.

It’s impossible to defend anything related to pageants because of their inherent inanity. They’re replacing bikinis with athletic wear as of next year. Drive the stake home and point me in the direction of the ten percent of these girls who will invariably end up in soft core porn. Winter is coming, and it isn’t white.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}