Ashley Graham is the shit, just ask her. You get the feeling she’s keeping a running tally of compliments and counting her own. This is a chick who marvels at her own stretch marks. You can’t help but get a visual of her staring in awe at her own mess in the toilet bowl. Apparently nobody paid attention to her growing up. Perhaps you’ve never heard of 25 cent wing night. Keep posting those workout videos in ten second chunks. Putting on the tights doesn’t count as exercise:
“I always felt second best. I was never the prettiest, never the skinniest, never the fastest in my sports. Never the smartest, because I have dyslexia… Some people just don’t get it — I’ve been denied jobs because I was too big. I’ve also been denied jobs because I was too small. At the end of the day, I’m never going to conform to what anybody wants. This is my body; I’m happy in it.”
It’s hard to run a mean 400 meters when you’re carrying around an extra sixty pounds of cheese sauce. What job were you denied because you didn’t weigh enough, the role of Fat Bastard’s girlfriend in Goldmember? Seems somewhat unbelievable. Graham’s point appears to be that she’s very average and extremely proud of this. What a coincidence so is anyone who doesn’t think you’re annoying. Bring on the Nickelback, Tyler Perry, Dancing with the Stars and Jimmy Fallon. Why strive for anything else, being copacetic is the new pinnacle of success. Pass the Eskimo Pies. Pinkberry might be a better option but these are easy and we’re done trying.
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