Patrice Brown Too Sexy For Fourth Grade, If You’re Sexist

Social media circulating photos of Atlanta fourth grade teacher Patrice “Tricey” Brown has re-ignited the age old debate of whether it’s okay to have elementary school teachers who every single dad and the one straight male teacher at school want to titty fuck. Classic public education debate. Brown is being compared favorably to Beyonce because she has a ginormous ass and curves and wears form fitting dresses to teach her nine-year old students. As opposed to being compared unfavorably to Beyonce because she’s dumb as a rock and being inserted into music videos with political messaging she can’t even barely begin to fathom.

Critics on both sides have lined up. Those who feel it’s inappropriate for a teacher to dress for school like a Vegas pro who works the whales at the casino bar, versus those who reflexively equate any criticism of a woman’s appearance or dress as sexist patriarchal maniacal slave culture body shaming. The latter will explain how it’s up to men, starting as fourth grade boys, to learn that natural sexual urges are meant to be tamed, subdued, and ultimately apologized for. I don’t care if your teacher has a stripper name and every time she bends over your pee-pee tingles, learn that that feeling is degrading to women. Now go change your shorts in the gender inclusive bathroom.

Said one feminist blogger I read because I’m Jesus and I’m eating your sins:

…we never have these conversations about men. Has anyone ever worried about students catching a glimpse of their male gym teacher’s dick print in his sweats? Have you ever heard anyone question whether or not a male teacher was too sexy to teach? “I think Mr. Smith is too tall and too bearded to be in the classroom,” said no one ever.

Male gym teachers have been wearing tight shorts since the dawn of time. And mustaches and taut chewing gum. And biting on towels while insisting the young men in their care shower thrice per hour. They’ve also largely been shifted out of the education job market entirely. Where they’ve gone is anybody’s guess, but they ought have been tagged and tracked.

Sexy male teachers have been the subject of many a girl’s diary entries and female teacher giggles in the staff room. The sexism is assuming men love the flattering attention whereas women find it distasteful and inappropriate. Does handsome Mr. Smith love that the chubby soft arts teachers are secretly chortling about the size of his cock? Probably not. But he’s a man so there is nobody rushing to his defense with poorly thought out social normative reconstructive behavior arguments. You can rest assured if Mr. Smith stood in front of his class in a skin tight body suit he would quickly be shuffled off to talk to his union rep about his pending termination.

This story could’ve been so wonderful. Great looking grammar school teacher with sweet curves and a wonderful game of pretending she’s not getting off feeling sexy in front of fourth grade boys. Too many people from too many sides share jointly in the desire to ruin fun. You have to wonder how these people put themselves to slumber each evening. Tomorrow, I’m going to wake up extra early and make sure the world is just a smidgeon less joyous. Goodnight, my four rescue cats. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}