Kardashian Protection Force Trebles

Khloe Kardashian launched her new denim line for super impressionable big boned women at the Grove, along with her sister Kourtney and mom Kris Jenner under a blanket of new and improved security forces. Onlookers felt Kris Jenner looked more nervous than usual, but it turned out to be new work on her face that was still settling. 

Ever since Kim Kardashian’s harrowing Taken experience in Paris, the entire family has been on lockdown. All NBA baller blowjobs have occurred on premises. The family received an emergency exemption from the city of Calabasas allowing black men to pass. Everybody’s had to adjust to war time conditions. Rubber shortage or not, double up those condoms.

It’s impossible to estimate the amount of weaponry that now accompanies the Kardashians on their public outings to snatch money from notably stupid people. If I were a lithesome Ukrainian prankster, I’d probably think twice about my next move around the family. Your next surprise peck on the cheek might see you loaded with lead and wondering if your parents in heaven still hate you for being queer. May the guns of rich and famous people never be confiscated.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}