Kristen Stewart And St Vincent Back Together

Kristen Stewart is back together with her ex girlfriend St Vincent who was formerly dating Cara Delevingne making her the new Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon except with crotch bumping or quite possibly just Instagram pics.

Vincent for her part identifies as sexually fluid meaning you can’t absolutely rule out her blowing a dog at some point if you think about it. Stewart appears to be a dour malcontent who was most recently banging her female assistant. She may be a lesbian out of sheer convenience as there aren’t too many guys left willing to put up with her shit.

She also fucked the director of Snow White and the Huntsman knowing he was married, which probably makes her a bad person. To be fair the only way you can get pussy as the director of Snow White is to fuck an actress who wants to confirm she won’t be killed off before the next shitty sequel. Vincent seems like a legit lesbian meaning she’ll be the one forwarding the majority of MoveOn petitions followed by repeated texts to make sure its been signed. Stewart will eventually break it off to marry a Rob Lowe type and grow more and more irritated by her husband’s sexual advances. She will then take a healthy divorce settlement and live out her days creeping on actresses on low budget indie sets as the lesbian Mrs Robinson. I also smell a bad tattoo post to Snapchat, hold your breath. 

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