Madonna Offers to Swallow Hillary Voters (VIDEO)

The amount of irony involved in Madonna stepping up to the microphone at an Amy Schumer comedy concert and offering blow jobs to audience members in exchange for voting for Hillary Clinton is difficult to count. But let’s start with the first three.

1. Everybody at an Amy Schumer concert is already voting for Hillary Clinton.

2. There’s one straight guy in the venue and he’s hiding at the concession stand.

3. There are no 58-year old prostitutes.

It’s easy to discount anybody who leads in with “Amy Schumer is an insanely talented comedic genius”. Even easier for old women talking about giving sloppy slow fellatio to get Hillary Clinton in the White House. Even Hillary Clinton wouldn’t do that. If Scott Baio offered to finger lonely chicks who promised to vote for Trump, these same crones couldn’t ring the rape charge bell fast enough. 

Amy Schumer is a product of mediocre talent and unimaginable amounts of friendly media and corporate support. So, Hillary Clinton. Madonna notably built herself up from nothing. Why is she the one offering the hummers? Unless perhaps she knows something the I’m With Her trail of tears walkers don’t. Like how to get ahead all on your own.

Trump is an asshat. Vote for him, don’t vote for him. You didn’t fight for the right to vote, but it’s still yours. There’s no way a man can vote for Hillary Clinton. Not because she’s a woman, but because how much she and her coven despise men. Imagine an ancient Madonna peering up at you from your knob if you need a reminder.