Shailene Woodley Doesn’t Understand Trespassing So Much

Actress Shailene Woodley captured herself for two hours on Facebook Live with a group of protestors standing off with County Sheriff deputies on land being utilized for the Dakota Access Pipeline. The DAP is similar to the building of the Death Star, except all the Rebels who drive a car or heat their homes are part of it. Woodley has legit hippy credentials in so much as she skips deodorant and often spends months living in shacks foraging for food to keep in touch with her ancestors who were also semi-good looking. So, less obviously fake in her environmental outrage than Leonardo DiCaprio, but not yet Daryl Hannah flinging her poop out of trees and would-be loggers.

Woodley raised the dramatic stakes by declaring that the police had guns and batons and handcuffs. In case you were thinking maybe wiffle bats and water balloons. Woodley and her friends were arrested for trespassing, which she claimed was bogus because they all moved back to the RVs after being told they were trespassing. Sort of like how the cops let people go caught burglarizing if they put down the stolen merchandise. 

To Woodley’s credit, compared to every single one of her peers, she actually packed some organic fleece scarves and drove out to the middle of nowhere to decry the end of clean water in the world as we know it. In an age of who can put the least amount of skin in the protest game, she got herself arrested. Susan Sarandon old school style. The next two hours on Facebook live better be tales of jailhouse lesbian consoling or those likes are going to drop faster than blessed petroleum through a pressure pipeline.