The Derrick Rose Case That Shouldn’t Have Been

Derrick Rose was socially promoted as far as need be to get his basketball talents into the NBA. If he didn’t have tens of millions in the bank we’d label him a functional retard and guilty pale people would vote him just enough welfare to keep him on cigarettes and turkey bologna. It’s a conundrum for grown men who can’t make smart decisions for themselves. If they surround themselves with smarter people, they get robbed. 

Rose is now embroiled in a civil rape case for no apparent reason. He had zero ability to foresee that his booty calls might have an exit strategy of her own. According to the accuser’s own friend at work the next morning, the accuser helped her Google images of the new sex toy Rose had bought her:

“Not one time did ‘rape’ come out of her mouth.”  The accuser even texted [her work friend], admitting, “I need a very wealthy good man.”

Carmelo Anthony recently commented that his new teammate Rose ought to finish up this nonsense in Los Angeles and get back to New York to pre-season with the Knicks. Critics came down on Anthony for minimizing the accusations against Rose in the ongoing civil rape trial. But Anthony like every other baller knows a shake-down. What they don’t know is why Rose is going through day after day of open court testimony about his sexual proclivities with his buddy gang sex, hanging with skeevy whores, and purchasing sex belts for his late night bangs.

That’s not how a man handles his shit. He locks it down. They pay you an obscene amount of money to play a game. Use some small percent of that cash to make this shit go away. You’re not a rapist, you’re a dumbass who has surrounded himself with dumbass friends who all have sex with sloppy drunk chicks together. Don’t be the only guy from Chicago afraid to pull a trigger.