GrubHub Dude Missed the Memo About Memos

It’s impossible to measure the raw anger felt among wealthy white people along the coasts as to what happened on November 8th. Hollywood, The Silicon Valley, Manhattan, they have bore the brunt of the Trump victory as they carry the weight of the righteous world on their shoulders. It’s not about them. It’s about the people they stand up for because they have the power to make things better. They haven’t yet, but someday. Let’s just say it’s coming soon.

The CEO of GrubHub responded to the election results by categorically describing himself and GrubHub as an awesomely tolerant and morally special deliverer of late night nachos to stoned people and vehemently anti-Trump. Matt Maloney’s outrage came in the form of a memo to all GrubHub employees asking them to resign if they voted for Trump. Or, more specifically, asking them to resign if they were sexist, racist, genocidal maniacs like Trump. So more subtle really.

I’m still trying to reconcile my own worldview with the overwhelming message that was delivered last night. Clearly there are a lot of people angry and scared as the antithesis of every modern presidential candidate won and will be our next president.

While demeaning, insulting and ridiculing minorities, immigrants and the physically/mentally disabled worked for Mr. Trump, I want to be clear that this behavior – and these views, have no place at Grubhub. Had he worked here, many of his comments would have resulted in his immediate termination.

GrubHub happens to be a publicly traded company, which means incredibly politically incendiary memos are a no-no for CEOs. It’s one thing to bank your private company’s fortunes on your outspoken personal social or religious views, another when grandmothers own your stock and don’t want your personal demons fucking up their retirement accounts.

When the hashtags for a boycott of GrubHub started appearing, Maloney quickly backtracked with a half-assed clarification explaining how he wasn’t really insisting Trump voters resign. That would be foolhardy and also as his lawyers surely informed him, technically probably illegal. What he meant to say was, hey, everybody, who wants some GrubHub coupons? Fuck our drivers who we pay freelance to avoid having to provide employment benefits. This is America, we’re better than that.