Jason Derulo Gets Bang For His Buck

Jason Derulo just sold his 11,000 square foot seven bedroom nine bathroom house in Florida for $1.9 million. Who is Jason Derulo? A guy who exists as a pop star in the sim world. The graphics on his beard are excellent, someone deserves an award.

The house is located on 2.5 acres of land adjacent to a golf course. The mortgage on a two million dollar house is pretty manageable. If you didn’t buy this house and expense it to your fraternity you’re a fucking idiot, Chad. Imagine all the terrible pussy you could get in there.

This house is located in a really shitty part of inland Florida. That means, based on desirability, you could get an even larger house in a shittier part of America. What are you waiting for, move to Wheeling West Virginia and get a house the size of an airplane hangar. Better yet, the Philippines. Move to a satellite suburb of Mindanao and purchase a thirty seven hundred bedroom house in exchange for your used Levis. How’s the market in Antarctica, we hear it’s warming up. Take some photos on the South Pole so you can brag about your nine million bedroom house that you bought for some otter pelts.

Point being, Jason Derulo is a complete tool and nobody wanted to make the drive to hit up his awesome nine bedroom house in the swamp. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}