Madonna issued a statement through People magazine that she loves her teen son and will stand by him through his upcoming drug trial. Not a trial so much as having to pay a fine for minor possession of marijuana. Police in London have little to do these days since they were ordered to start smiling more at homegrown Muslim terrorists. Out of sheer boredom they commenced stop and frisk on teens at skate parks. Rocco Ritchie was busted with less than two grams of weed. That’s an embarrassingly small amount for anybody connected to the music business in any way.
I love my son very much. I will do whatever I can to give him the support that he needs, and I ask that you respect our privacy at this time.
No questions please. It’s all explained in the upcoming Madonna documentary available on the new Hulu premium. Including adorable naked photos of Rocco as a toddler trying to climb out windows. That Clapton boy got lucky. Could we move the trial to next March? I have an opening then.
Rocco fled to London to be with his dad last year after the allure of being dragged around by his mom on successive world tours and endless publicity events had worn thin. There’s something about watching the Moroccan backup dancers pick straws to see who fucks your mom that makes living with Guy Ritchie seem solid. Remember when we all thought being gay would save us? Hamdan, you’re up.
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