Mariah Carey Casing Holding Tight

Whoever the fuck is packaging Mariah Carey into those undersized costumes deserves some kind of Tony Award or whatever they hand out for structural engineering breakthroughs. Like figuring out those sleeping bags that once unfurled never roll up tight enough again to fit into their plastic sleeves. if those same sleeping bags ate tons of soft cheeses.

InTouch Weekly got hold of somebody who really knows Mariah Carey, her former hairdresser, to explain how crazy Mariah is acting after the breakup with James Packer. Or how she used to act a decade ago when he knew her before she fired him for stealing her bangles. The point is, Carey is nuts. Another insider source who couldn’t possibly be more insider than her angry former hairdresser explains how extra crazy Carey has been acting post engagement break:

One minute she’s saying she wants to go to dinner to be seen by her fans, and the next minute she’s complain­ing that they won’t leave her alone when she goes out.”

That is edging very close to the medical definition of insanity. Also accurately describing every girl ever. Carey’s just got the money to make people stick around for it. You’re going to want to pain a yellow caution line in a ten foot circumference around the diva. When whatever’s holding her physical form together blows, you’re going to ruin your favorite shirt. There’s no Tide ball for human viscera.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}