U.S. Women’s Soccer Racking Up Lesbian Scores

It’d be juvenile for lesbian chicks to keep score on how many straight married women they can turn. But if they were, they’d be winning. Female athletes in particular seem to be picking off formerly straight married women who are suddenly remembering in their 30’s and 40’s that they’ve always preferred girls. Former U.S. Women’s Soccer Team star Abby Wambach nailed down highly-followed Christian blogger Glennon Doyle Melton. National news outlets are hitting that Christian part with big font because of the implication that Christians are all secretly closeted gays. As first noted in each of their senior theses at Sarah Lawrence.

Glennon Melton’s gained a following online for being the Christian blogger who talks about her past drug use and anorexia and mental breakdowns and the honest pain of being a wife and mother. She may have outdone herself here. Wambach, who herself has admitted to past substance abuse issues and recent DUI arrest, is divorcing her lesbian wife to be with Melton. Melton is divorcing her husband of fourteen years. She claims he’s great with this. Meaning, he can finely fuck a chick who won’t look completely forlorn.

Glennon Melton seems positively blessed, on behalf of her children who this is really all about:

“They’re lucky kids, to be surrounded by so much love. We have family dinners together — all six of us — and Abby cooks. (She is an AMAZING chef because Jesus loves me). We go to the kids’ school parties together. We are a modern, beautiful family. Our children are loved. So loved. And because of all of that love, they are brave.”

Nothing seems so horribly wrong here. Other than two former drug abusers who seem too old for fantasy romance splitting up their families to be together. One of them thinks Jesus told her to. The other probably had some input from Oxy. The kids clearly are the beneficiaries here with all the love and associated bravery. Why do they need to be so brave again? That’s right. Mom’s leaving dad to fuck Abby Wambach. 

You have to think some portion of the Trump phenomenon is related to the way in which so many highly visible Americans reward themselves for being self-centered. Also labeling all their needs as special. It’s obnoxious. People have always done selfish crap to make themselves happy, including fucking around, but until recently it was never lauded in the papers as bravery. That used to mean going off to war or running into burning houses to save cats and babies. Not dumping shit on your family because you want more fulfilling orgasms. 

Congratulations, you were made for each other. Watch those facial expressions and ask yourself how long a real Sapphic butch like Wambach is going to stick around for this shit. Ask the former Mr. Melton. This baby voice broken woman shit gets real old real fast.