Courtney Stodden Tits Out, Animals Saved

PETA has become the last refuge of blond chicks with enormous tits and tiny prospects. Professional wrestling has literally outgrown them. It’s unclear what if any progress PETA has made in improving the lives of animals, but if women want to get naked in cages or let their nubs fall out of their dresses, it’s de facto one of the lesser annoying protest movements.

Courtney Stodden was trotted out by PETA to express her kinship with Corky, the female orca at Sea World who like Stodden has lost a child or seven to failed pregnancies. Though Corky’s miscarriages seem related to her confines while Stodden’s involved face planting on a sprinkler head after she forgot to ballast her lopsided breasts.

PETA’s going deep on Sea World because it’s become increasingly difficult to defend caging sea mammals to perform hoop tricks for kids from landlocked states. Everybody’s got a tiny camera these days. It’s harder to hide Yaka crying. The whales don’t give a shit if the D-list titty model’s repping them. Just open the fucking doors so we can slowly starve to death with dignity. 

_{Photo Credit: Splash}