Kim Kardashian’s Make Up Artist Twin Feeds from Her Implants

If breastfeeding your baby is the new Joan of Arc level of heroism, then nursing twins from lactating glands above your silicone breasts implants is something akin to Mother Theresa, if she also wore low cut tops and caught by-product semen splash from her boss’ male visitors. 

Joyce Bonelli is Kim Kardashian’s make-up artist, which alone means she has to truck forty pounds of foundation and eye-liner up and down mansion staircases and private jet gangplanks daily. Trust that she’s strong to see what she sees. But nothing of the magnitude of greatness compared to nursing her newborns:

Pulling that inner most deepest strength while you feel as though you have none left to give. Weak and tired, pain unknown, exhaustion unreal, and you still stand up. 

Or, you’re in bed, with massive fake lashes and your surgically enhanced hooters on display in an obvious ploy on Instagram. The fact you can manage to feed your infants on a six figure salary with several months maternity leave is something most women can only imagine after watching both Sex and the City movies.

Consider the gauntlet thrown, celebrity women posting breastfeeding pictures of one single child with your nanny stage left ready to take over for the next nine months. Slap a couple sub-Saharan African toddlers on your milkers and snap now. Your wonder-of-me credits are running out.