There are twenty-four days of Advent. That’s a ton of video concepts to pull off involving models with whom you’ve got a couple hours in studio and certainly won’t be bringing creative input to the proceedings. It started grinding around day nine. Day fifteen has devolved into Ciara parked in front of a green screen with some early version iMovie built-in effects. By day twenty look for Shelly Duvall and Dr. Phil in incontinence shorts twerking over the Snake River.
Ciara is exhausted from all those straight sex marathons with her undeniably heterosexual husband. Stop suing me. You’re ruining dead people’s music. Prince is rolling over in his grave. Yes, on top of his favorite dildo they buried him with. Re-shoot this entire Advent thing topless and I’m willing to revisit your grade for the semester. Short of that, you’re getting a lump. No, not coal. Testicular cancer. Merry Christmas.
Photo credit: Love magazine