Corporate CEO’s Working Over the Politically Hysterical

Over the weekend New York City cab drivers refused service to JFK in protest of the new Trump Executive Order on freezing refugee admissions from seven Middle Eastern countries. The work stoppage was one percent principled and ninety-nine percent practical as every single cab driver in the five boroughs hails from a land on the list or next on the list.

Uber refused to honor the taxi protest ban and even charged riders a peak time usage fee because all the cabs were out of service and fuck you. Uber’s upstart competitor Lyft seized upon Twitter outrage and a hashtag DeleteUber by condemning their competitor Uber and reminding everybody that the Uber CEO is a Trump economic advisor. Burn him. Lyft also declard their earnest belief that all Americans even non-Americans are Americans, and that they were donating one million dollars to the ACLU. Later, they revealed the donation would take place over four years, or, one year, followed by three years of hoping people forget about the promise. Amber Heard makes more straightforward fake charitable promises. Good enough, Hollywood jumped on board the DeleteUber train.

Lyft has been spending like a drunken sailor to cut into some of those Uber ride-sharing billions. Lyft revenue was about $700 million this past year and they still lost a shit ton of money. Shaquille O’Neil undercover pranks don’t come on the cheap. Fortunately, they have deep pocket investors like Trump buddy Carl Icahn and Prince al-Waleed bin Talal of Saudi Arabia, so you know their hippy power to the people chants are legit. Heavy sighing over Uber’s capitalist mindset came in the Washington Post. Owned by Jeff Bezos who also owns a nice chunk of Uber. Go figure. Google owns another huge slab. There are ten entities that own pretty much everything in media and tech. All this infighting is cover for a decently spun common man story. I dare you to quiz an impassioned celebrity re-Tweeter on any of this.

You can’t blame businessmen for playing riots in the virtual streets to their own financial advantage. When American women collectively agreed that crappy Italian discount chains like Olive Garden were upscale enough to put out after a dinner date, they built a million of those joints. Toyota insisted ten dollar a gallon gas was coming and sold Americans fifty billion dollars worth of Priuses, a car with little inherent demand outside of masculine submission. All sales are about playing people in one way or another. If they come to you hysterical, the process is so much easier. Work them the fuck over until their wallet is bare. Money flows from the stupid to the cunning. That goes for all economic systems ever invented.

Lyft won the weekend for peanuts on the dollar. Now they have to put up with HuffPo and Buzzfeed bloggers in New York and Los Angeles ranting in their backseats on the way to spin class.